


capricious love

by ari_lee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cheating, Child Hinata Shouyou, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I can't believe that's actually a tag, M/M, Married Couple, ending isn't happy or sad, i promise kuroo reforms, it's just kinda neutral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:29:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14220171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ari_lee/pseuds/ari_lee
Summary: “I see that we’re still in love” Kei says with dry humor. He's sitting in the bed with his glasses on and a book resting on his lap. “Very convincing.” Once again, Kuroo wonders why he isn't sensing anything a little more antagonistic from him. “We need to talk,” Kuroo says abruptly and Kei closes his book. Kuroo takes a deep breath before blurting out his wish.“I want a divorce.”





	capricious love

Kuroo leans over and grasps his lover’s hand, who smiles fondly at him in return. “You’re taking me out for a movie after this, right?” Yashiro asks teasingly. Kuroo laughs in return. “Of course, of course, whatever you want babe,” he says with a smirk. The rest of their evening is wonderful and Kuroo thinks that he's really falling in love again. Yashiro is funny, sweet, sarcastic, everything he wants in a partner. He hasn’t felt this young in forever and it makes his heart go racing. Maybe he’ll even consider proposing sometime soon. However, he puts these thoughts away as he drives back after driving his boyfriend home.

 

He keeps his face neutral as he enters through the door. “Daddy!” A little boy comes running up to him and latches onto his legs. “Daddy, welcome home!” Shouyou - his bright five year old adopted son - beams up at him  with eagerness in his eyes. “I missed you too munchkin,” Kuroo grins before sweeping him up into a tight hug. “Did you have a good day?” Shouyou nods eagerly. “Mm, now go say hi to Papa! He’s been waiting all day for you!” Kuroo nods and sets his son down.

 

There is no emotion in his heart when Shouyou mentions 'Papa’.

 

Kei appears around the corner and raises an eyebrow at him. “Welcome home Tetsurou,” he says with a neutral expression but Kuroo can see the questioning gaze behind it. If anything, he’s surprised there isn’t any malice hidden in it. “I’m back,” he responds, just as equally pleasant. “There’s dinner on the table for you, I’ll be in our room,” Kei says before he turns around and does exactly as he had said. Kuroo doesn’t really care about what Kei is up to so he merely goes and sits where he dinner waits for him.

 

It tastes good, as usual, but he wishes Yashiro was here to enjoy it with him. Having company when eating was always much more enjoyable. A mop of orange suddenly peeks at him from the other side of the table and Kuroo smiles warmly. “Are you going to keep me company, Shou-chan?” He says teasingly and Shouyou squeaks. “You caught me,” he pouts before clambering to stand on the chair so he can be seen. He starts chattering away about his day and Kuroo listens attentively, wincing as Shouyou mentions he how fell off the monkey bars.

 

“It's okay though daddy, I’m strong,” he puffs up his chest in an attempt to look big. Kuroo chuckles. “I’m sure you are,” he says lightly. Shouyou suddenly looks at him inquisitively and Kuroo wonders what is swirling around in his small brain. “Daddy, do you not love papa anymore?” He asks innocently. Kuroo chokes on his food, coughing the morsels out of his windpipe. “Why do you ask that, Shou-chan?” He says once he can breathe again. “It's because you and papa don’t look happy when you see each other anymore,” Shouyou frowns, starting to look upset.

 

“It’s alright munchkin,” Kuroo reassures Shouyou quickly. “Papa and I still love each other, it’s just we’re having...tough times,” he says lamely. He doesn’t really feel anything for Kei anymore though and a sense of guilt wells up in his chest for lying to his precious son. “Oh, okay!” Shouyou smiles at his answer, and it's obvious that he feels relieved. This only makes him feel worse and he quickly finishes the rest of his dinner before standing up.

 

“Why don’t you go get ready for bed, I’ll tuck you in once I'm done washing the dishes,” Kuroo suggests and Shouyou yells “Okay!” before running off to do as his dad suggested. Kuroo does exactly as he promises and once he's done, he retires to his room for the evening.

 

“I see that we’re still in love” Kei says with dry humor. He's sitting in the bed with his glasses on and a book resting on his lap. “Very convincing.” Once again, Kuroo wonders why he isn't sensing anything a little more antagonistic from him. “We need to talk,” Kuroo says abruptly and Kei closes his book. Kuroo takes a deep breath before blurting out his wish.

 

“I want a divorce.”

 

-

 

Kei had asked him for a reason, but he hadn't given one. How could he just say that he wanted a divorce because he's cheating on his husband with someone else at his work? Nonetheless they don't really talk about it anymore that evening and Kuroo wonders if Kei - no, Tsukishima is really human at all. He had barely displayed a reacting when he pronounced his wish.

 

Regardless he starts filling out divorce papers and he does have somewhat of a conscience so he leaves the house and their nice car to Tsukishima, as well as a decent portion of the shares he owns as business man. It should be enough to let Tsukishima live a comfortable life and resume working. For some reason he had stopped working about a year ago, but he really didn't care enough to ask for the reason so he just let it pass by. After all, he made plenty of money, much more than enough for the three of them.

 

About a week later when he regains his confidence, he approaches Tsukishima again. “Here,” he places the paper in front of him. Tsukishima keeps his poker face on as he picks up the paper and reads it's contents. Much to his shock, Tsukishima tears the paper in half. “Hey,” Kuroo snaps but he backs off when Tsukishima shoots him a warning look.

 

“I'll agree to the divorce but only on three conditions.” Kuroo supposes it could be a lot worse and remains silent. “First, I don't want anything materialistic from you.” Kuroo nods, that's easy enough for him. He feels like Tsukishima's eyes are looking into his soul. “Second, you won't tell Shouyou. He'll be devastated more than anything and he's only five.” Kuroo hesitates because this request doesn't make any sense to him at all. Tsukishima seems to sense his confusion and gives him another glare, warning him to be quiet. He offers no explanation and continues.

 

“Do you remember our wedding?” A nod prompts Tsukishima to continue. “After we kissed, you picked me up and escaped from the room because you wanted to elope.” Kuroo scratches his head sheepishly. He hadn't been able to resist that one particular idea. “For the next thirty days, I want you to carry me like that from our house out to the front porch before you leave in the morning.” Kuroo stares at him, wondering if he's gone crazy. “You want me…to carry you?” He clarifies and Tsukishima sighs. “Is your hearing already that bad? You know exactly what I said.” Kuroo mulls over his conditions and in the long run, they really weren't that hard or that bad. After a month, he would be free to pursue Yashiro as he wanted.

 

“Okay. I can do that.” Tsukishima smiles, although his smile was empty. “You start tomorrow morning then. Good night.” He leaves as soon as they're done talking and Kuroo steps outside to call Yashiro, who merely laughs as he hears Tsukishima's terms. “No matter what, divorce is divorce. No matter what petty tricks he pulls he won't be able to get your heart back. After all,” Kuroo can just hear the smile on his boyfriend’s face, “it belongs to me right now, doesn't it?”

 

Kuroo supposes that it does.

 

-

 

The first day is unbelievably awkward. Both of them are tight and tense, not having really had any physical contact since Kuroo started meeting Yashiro. The moment he lets Tsukishima go he lets out a sigh, wiping away sweat. Tsukishima merely watches him and Kuroo waves awkwardly before he walks off to work. He feels the stare that's pressing into his back as he leaves. Was this want he wanted? To make Kuroo suffer before they divorced?

 

That evening he meets Yashiro for dinner. “So how’s it going?” Yashiro asks, oblivious to Kuroo’s plight. “It’s only day one but I can’t wait for it to be over,” he groans, burying his head in his arms. Yashiro pats his arm with empathy. “After one month, we can openly be together,” he reassures him. “It’ll be worth it, I promise.” Kuroo smiles at him, his worries melting away and they enjoy the rest of their evening together, the sunset shining through the windows.

 

A week passes by, and Kuroo eventually grows accustomed to it. The eighth day is better. Tsukishima is tense but eventually relaxes, his arms wrapped around Kuroo's neck. Kuroo holds onto him more naturally and a flood of thoughts enter his mind. This is the man he's been married to for ten years. Ten years that Tsukishima gave away to spend with him, a cheater. Something wells up in his chest, something that he remembers feeling on their wedding day. He also remembers adopting their beautiful five year old son when he was just a little baby, from a mother who couldn't take care of her son. It was the first time he had seen Tsukishima cry as he stroked the soft cheek of their son. Well, it was more or less one tear but for Tsukishima, it was a rare sight.

 

He wouldn’t trade his beautiful five year old son for anything, who has an unwavering belief in their parents. The next morning he bursts into their room and climbs on their bed like a little monkey, squawking excitedly. “It's time for daddy to carry papa out,” he cheers, jumping up and down on them until they grumble their way out if bed. Kuroo blinks the sleep out of his eyes before looking at his son exasperatedly. “It's not time yet, it's after we eat breakfast and before I go to work.” Shouyou shakes his head adamantly. “Right now,” he insists before jumping onto Tsukishima, who startles.

 

“He wants me to carry you out now,” Kuroo says apologetically and Tsukishima shrugs. “It's not a big deal,” he says. Kuroo shrugs off his nonchalant reply before going to the other side of the bed and picking him up. Somehow he seems easier to carry, maybe because it’s like a workout for him everyday. He carefully sets Tsukishima down in the kitchen and it hits him.

 

He still loves him.

 

Kuroo fumbles with breakfast and ignores Tsukishima’s questioning glances. He still thinks that he has feelings for Yashiro but he can’t ignore the warmth he feels in his chest when he holds Tsukishima in his arms every morning. Kuroo sets off to work in a daze and he doesn’t get anything done. When Yashiro approaches him, asking if he feels like dinner tonight, Kuroo brushes him off, trying to sort through his feelings.

 

The next morning he hears Tsukishima curse under his breath as he’s dressing and he glances over. Tsukishima catches his look and looks away. “I don’t fit in my old clothes anymore,” he murmurs under his breath and Kuroo realizes that Tsukishima’s lost weight. A concerning amount, actually. “I can buy you something on the way back,” he offers casually, hoping Tsukishima will accept his offer. Tsukishima merely squints at him before shaking his head. “I’ll make due with what I have,” he answers, killing any possible chance of further conversation. He wishes Tsukishima had accepted to he could spoil him a little bit.

 

On the very last day, Kuroo picks up Tsukishima and hesitates. His son watches them eagerly but Kuroo knows that when he walks out the door, it’s over. The thirty days will be up, and they’ll divorce, just as they agreed to one month ago. Nonetheless he takes a deep breath and carries Tsukishima out the door. The sun is barely peeking at them from over the hill, and suddenly, Kuroo knows exactly what he has to do. Tsukishima watches him leave, his gaze emotionless and resigned.

 

Kuroo rushes to work. He’s never felt more urgently about anything in his life, not even his work. He bursts into Yashiro’s office, who startles but smiles at him warmly. “Tetsurou,” he starts but Kuroo cuts him off. “I’m sorry!” He blurts, bowing at ninety degrees. “I can’t continue this relationship with you. I still love my husband, and I realized that over these last thirty days. I’m really sorry, but I can’t go out with you anymore.” There’s silence in the room and Kuroo dares to glance up. Yashiro looks at him with visible acceptance yet he can see the grief on his face. “You’ve become more distant lately, I knew that you were going to leave me at some point,” he sighs before shooing him away. “Go and make it up to your husband. From what I’ve heard, you guys aren’t in a good place, right?” Kuroo is stunned at his genuine kindness and forgiveness. “Thank you,” he murmurs, feeling uncomfortable. If he had just been faithful and more devoted from the start, they could have avoided this whole scenario.

 

Yashiro gives him one last hug before pushing him out the door. “You better buy flowers and chocolate and spoil him rotten,” he orders before closing the door. That’s exactly his plan, and Kuroo sets off to do so right away. He first goes to the flower shop and buys the most beautiful assortment of flowers, everything that Tsukki deserves. He supposes that he doesn’t deserve to call him Kei until he’s really earned his forgiveness. The giddiness rises up in him, like he’s seventeen again and trying to woo the cold-hearted Tsukishima.

 

He pushes the door open. “Tsukki?” He calls, trying to tone down his excitement. There’s no answer, and something lodges in his chest. “Tsukki?” He tries again, stepping further into the house. Kuroo wonders if he slipped out for an errand or went out for a walk, but he continues investigating the house. The bedroom door is slightly ajar, and he steps forward, flowers in hand, before pushing the door open.

 

Tsukishima is lying on the bed curled in fetal position, pale and unmoving. Kuroo’s heart stops as he scrambles towards the bed and shakes Tsukishima. “Kei?” He whispers. “Kei?” The flowers lay on the ground forgotten as he presses his ear to his chest, praying for a steady sound. His hopes plummet as he’s met with silence and he presses two fingers against his neck, trying to feel for a pulse. He sinks to his knees and his chest feels hollow and caved in. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispers into the air but deep inside he knows why. After all, Kei was the faithful husband while Kuroo went out and cheated on him. Two years ago Kei had been a beautiful man, but now he was merely a sickly looking corpse, dead from cancer. He had suffered and fought all on his own the entire time.

 

Something burns at his eyes and Kuroo reaches up to rub his eyes but his finger comes away wet. He vaguely realizes that he’s crying and once he knows, the tears won't stop. He screams and wails, cursing himself and God, wondering why he would be so cruel to someone who deserved the world. It feels like hours before something in his pocket rings and he belatedly realizes he needs to get their son.

 

Kuroo’s mind is on autopilot as he goes out to his car and drives to his son’s school. He doesn’t know how he’ll break the news to their beloved son, but something suddenly comes back to mind. Something that Kei had said a while back.

 

_“If I were to die, I’d want Shouyou to be happy,” Kei muses as they walk out from the adoption center and Kuroo frowns. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works,” he says and Kei shrugs. “You know that’s not what I mean.”_

 

_Kei pauses. “I mean I’d want him to live with the fact knowing that he had parents who loved each other,” he admits, his voice low. His own parents had divorced when he was four and to this day, he was still bitter towards them. How could he wish that upon his own son? “And if he were to get a sibling, I’d make sure to raise them right,” he added after a moment of thought._

 

_Kuroo was driving but he felt something warm bloom in his heart. Kei just wanted a family, and how could he deny him of something like that? “Don’t worry,” he says with conviction. “We’ll be the best family there ever was.”_

 

His empty promise seemed to wrap itself around his neck and choke him, and he felt like he was suffocating. Was this really karma? Was this his atonement for turning his back on what he swore to devote his life to? He barely notices as he nearly hits another car, deaf to everything around him even as he is flipped off. As he pulls up into his son’s school, he spots a mop of orange hair and suddenly, he can breathe again. He now knows why Kei made his request and he’s going live up to his expectations and raise Shouyou the right way. His heart will ache for a long time, but he supposes that it is justified. Kei just wanted to make sure Shouyou remembered Kuroo as a good father, someone who really did love his husband and treated him well. Although Shouyou doesn't know the full truth at the moment, Kuroo knows he can't mess up with Kei left for him. 

 

He _will_ raise his son the right way. As his son climbs into the car with a smile on his face, ready to tell his dad all about his day, Kuroo’s lips upturn slightly and his resolve becomes as solid as diamond.

 

_“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”_

 -  _ _Bryant H. McGill__

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of a true story guys, morale of the story is don't cheat lol
> 
> i promised i would stop writing death fics but i guess that didn't happen haha
> 
> if you liked it please leave kudos on your way out!!


End file.
